Despite the fact no one knows what caused this, experts are hurrying to reassure us that this is totally normal. It was apparently caused by weather, or possibly disease. You know, those diseases that strike down thousands of individuals at the exact same second, like time bomb flu or countdownculosis. It was probably one of those.
If it wasn't a ridiculous disease and there was no severe weather in the area, then scientist Doug Inkley has a third option:
I believe what happened is that these birds...simply stampeded, if you will. It was nighttime, they couldn't see where they were flying, and they no doubt flew into objects.If there were a large, bloodstained object in the vicinity, it seems like the sort of thing that would have made it into the news reports. But perhaps it was a moving object, which has since left. If so, we need to ask ourselves: where has it gone? And what will it do when it gets there?
The answers, I think, are: to the Chesapeake Bay, and kill fish. Over two million dead fish were just discovered there; scientists believe they died of "natural causes." I think that on further investigation, though, they'll probably find that something scared the fish, and they stampeded, swimming into objects.
I'd like to add my theory into the running: this is being caused by bees. You know how the bees have been disappearing in alarming numbers for the last several years? I think they're back. They're flying around in titanic swarms comprising billions of bees, stinging anything unlucky enough to stray into their path. We don't know what they want yet, but I'm sure that they'll soon make their demands known, possibly by colonizing a major city and turning it into a hive. I don't think that we're prepared to fight this sort of a battle, either, so let me be the first to say: I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.
Mood of the Moment: concerned
Auditory Hallucination: Cowboy Mouth -- Belly